


Play Along

by Prettywitchiusaka



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003), Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Gen, Humour, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-10
Updated: 2017-06-10
Packaged: 2018-11-12 07:14:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11156904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prettywitchiusaka/pseuds/Prettywitchiusaka
Summary: One minute, he was in the courtyard, taking in the fresh air and chatting with his best friend, Maes Hughes. The next, he was being thrown in the back of a car by his own men and being driven to some fancy restaurant. *For Royai Week 2017* Rated T for a few sexual conversations.





	Play Along

Riza Hawkeye let out a sigh, though it wasn't hard to see why. It was five o'clock on a Friday evening, and instead of heading home after a long day of work, the Lieutenant found herself carrying a fairly large stack of paperwork to her boss's office.

But then again, being swamped in paperwork was just something she was used to by now. Especially with her boss being the ambitious Flame Alchemist, Colonel Roy Mustang.

Last week, they had gone undercover as a "Bonnie and Clyde"-esque duo. Their mission was to seek the favour of Don Portello, an infamous drug lord in Central, and bring him to justice.

It took a few days, but the Lieutenant and her Colonel had gathered the information they needed and were ready to take their evidence to the police. Unfortunately, the Don and his cronies were just as clever and discovered their identities after doing some digging of their own.

The result was a series of in high jinks and shenanigans that would rival even that of Roy's young protege, Edward Elric. But then again, the Lieutenant expected nothing less. How could she when Roy could make fireballs with the snap of his fingers, and she could pump an army of men full of holes in under five minutes?

The mission ended successfully, with Portello being arrested, and Roy receiving praise from the detective in charge of the case.

Unfortunately, that also meant signing off on a ton of paperwork, both for collateral damage purposes and to sign off on all the evidence they'd gathered for the police. And given the amount of destruction the duo had caused, it had taken a week for them and their little military unit to finish completing the necessary paperwork required.

Or rather, the necessary **stacks** of paperwork required.

Thankfully, the stack that Riza was currently carrying was the last one. Just another hour or so and they could go home.

And God, was she thankful for it! After that third day of signatures, the Lieutenant could feel her hand starting to cramp up. It felt better after that massage she'd gotten, but still.

" _Just think of the benefits_ ," she'd thought to herself during the week. Not bad advice, considering that there were a lot of perks to completing this assignment.

It would mean another job well done to add to Roy's military record. It could also very well lead to a promotion for him, and another step forward to reaching his goal of becoming Furher of Amestris.

Roy had even bothered helping out her and their little staff out in getting the paperwork done, instead of putting it off like he usually did.

" _Well, that's nothing new_ ," she reminded herself. The last few months had seen Roy taking more initiative to complete his paperwork rather than leave it until the last minute.

And much to the shock and surprise of their little military unit.

The first few weeks consisted of them betting on when Mustang would cave, believing he wouldn't last more than a week, at best.

But as the days went by, and Roy showed no sign of returning to his old habits, the four of them just gave up. They were out of money to bet with anyway, what with how many times Hayman Breda had won, already.

Eventually, they just chalked it up to him going through a dry spell. That their Colonel, after all the women he'd gone out with, couldn't find another date, and was working hard to stave off boredom. Or sexual frustration.

Even when her friend, Kain Feury suggested a possible explanation for his behaviour;

" _Maybe he's finally found a girlfriend and he doesn't want to be here until ten at night?_ "

It was met with immediate laughter from the rest of the group.

" _Yeah, right! Like Mustang would ever settle down!_ " Jean Havoc had said.

Honestly, overtime Riza thought about that memory, she couldn't help but chuckle to herself. It felt nice being the only one who knew what was motivating Roy Mustang's sudden shift in attitude.

Heck, even thinking about now was making her smile as she stopped in front of his office. Balancing the stack of paper by using chest as support, it left her free to use her other hand to open the office door.

"Alright, Colonel, this is the last of the paperwork we need to sign," she said. "Hopefully, we can get this done and go-"

That was until her amber eyes caught sight of Roy's large, black swivel chair. It was turned away from the desk and facing out the office window. Seeing that, she could feel her hand tightening around the thick stack of paper, and her eyes soften as she wondered what was wrong.

Was he not feeling well? Probably not. Aside from a few bad habits, Mustang took good care of himself and rarely got sick.

Was he taking a break? Possibly. It was almost time to head home and they'd been working non-stop since this morning.

Or was he drowning his sorrows in the hidden flask he kept in his desk? Maybe. It wasn't uncommon for him to indulge his dependency on alcohol while on the job, given the nightmares he suffered from.

Any one of those was a possibility. And being both his friend and bodyguard, she had to know what was wrong.

"Colonel?"

"Oh, Lieutenant Hawkeye. I didn't hear you come in."

Riza felt her eyes widen at that voice. Instead of the usually deep baritone she'd come to know as Roy's, it was a perky, overly cheerful voice she knew just as well.

When whoever was occupying the swivel chair started turning around, she came face to face with an old friend of both hers and the Colonel.

"Lieutenant Colonel Hughes? What are you doing here?"

"Well technically, I'm here on official business for the Furhur, but I have another day to kill until the next train to Central gets here, so I figured I'd stop by and catch up with some old friends."

The Lieutenant raised an eyebrow at this. Yes, Maes was Roy's close friend and confidant, often relying him for information about the goings on in Central, but she knew that he could be just as conniving as her Colonel, if not more so. Probably why they got along so well.

And besides, he was smirking. Much like Roy, she knew that if Maes had a cocky smile on his face, odds were pretty good he was scheming something.

"And where's Colonel Mustang?" she asked.

"Oh, you don't have to worry about him, I'm keeping him someplace…very safe," he replied.

"He's at a restaurant, isn't he?"

He adjusted his glasses. "Oh, wouldn't you like to-" Maes stopped himself mid-sentence, completely taken aback by her lack of reaction. "Uh yeah, how did you know?"

"Because you **always** try hooking us up whenever you're here," she replied.

Maes shrugged. He couldn't deny that what the Lieutenant just said wasn't true; it was. So, he gave her a smile and said "True. But what can I say? It's pretty obvious you two want to admit your feelings for each other, you just need a little extra push."

Riza didn't say anything. She just kept staring at him with that stoic face of hers and made the decision to ask a very simple question. "And which restaurant are you holding him "captive" at, this time?"

Maes smiled. "Awe! You really want to see you precious Colonel, don't you?" he asked. Sitting up, he bent down and started rummaging through what sounded like a duffle bag.

"Well, if you want to do that, then you'll just have to do as I say," he said. Popping up from behind the desk, he held up a dark blue, low cut dress in his hands. "And get into this sexy dress that Gracia and I picked out for you! There's even a tiny slit where you can show off your leg and seduce-"

But when the excitedly giddy man went to look her in the eye again, all he saw was a stack of paperwork on the floor, and an empty doorframe where Riza stood only moments ago.

Needless to say, all Maes could do was scoff and place his hands on his hips. Once again,

his inability to quit rambling had gotten the better of him.

"Ah, geez!" he grumbled. "Those two had better stop her. Or else, we'll have gone to all this work for nothing!"

…..

By now, Riza was already half down the hallway. Standing tall and appearing completely in control as she made her way towards the nearest payphone.

That is until out of nowhere came a grey haired man she recognized to be her colleague, Warrant Officer Vato Falman. And to make matters worse, he was blocking her path.

"Sorry, Lieutenant, but I can't let you go any further-"

Acting fast, Riza pulled out her trusty hand gun and pointed it at her friend. "Get out of my way, Falman."

Vato didn't even bat an eye, he just moved out of the way and said "Okay."

Riza continued her way to the pay phone just a few steps away now, wondering why Falman of all people would try stopping her?

" _Hughes must've gotten them involved_ ," she reasoned. Which meant that-

"Lieutenant, I can't let you go any further!"

Sure enough, she found face to face with her friend, Master Sergeant Kain Feury.

She sighed and said "You're not changing my mind, Feury! Just tell me where the Colonel is and let me-"

"No! You and the Colonel have been dancing around your feelings long enough, and as your friend I won't stand for it!" he declared.

"Kain, tell me where the Colonel is or so help me, I will never speak to you, again!"

Kain felt himself practically freeze up at that. There's no way she meant that. Is there? Well, when he saw the fierce look in her eyes, he gulped as it dawned on him that that probably wasn't a threat on her part.

And a really mean one at that, he thought.

Did he want to see his dear friend be happy with their commanding officer? Absolutely. But at the risk of no longer being friends with her? That didn't seem like a fair trade.

"Out with it, Kain!" she barked.

Hanging his head in defeat, Kain moved off to the side and said "He's at the Drachman Bistro."

"Thank you."

Having acquired the information she needed, the Lieutenant wasted no time walking up to the phone and calling the restaurant. It's times like this she was grateful for her ability to memorize phone numbers by heart. She couldn't remember how many times Roy had asked her to book a restaurant reservation for him and some women he just met over the years.

After listening to the phone dial for a bit, someone on the other end finally answered her. "Hello. Is there a reservation for Roy Mustang? Yes, this is his secretary. Is he there? Yes. Yes. Just tell him that help is on the way."

Hanging up the phone, Riza made her her way back down the hall, leaving Feury with his mouth hanging wide open, and his eyes bulging from their sockets. Noticing this, Vato walked over to his stunned looking friend.

Crossing his arms, he asked the following. "So how did she get you?"

"She threatened to never speak to me again if I didn't let her phone the restaurant…"

"Ooh…," Vato remarked. He started patting his friends' shoulder for comfort. "That's rough…"

"I know," Kain replied.

Sometimes, it wasn't easy being the nice guy.

….

Roy Mustang growled as he tapped his arm with his finger, wondering what he could have possibly done to deserve this.

One minute, he was in the courtyard, taking in the fresh air and chatting with his best friend, Maes Hughes. The next, he was being thrown in the back of a car by his own men and being driven to some fancy restaurant.

And now, the Flame Alchemist found himself sitting in a dimly lit, drachman resteraunt with two other people. His two Second Lieutenants, Jean Havoc and Haymans Breda.

They were sitting across the table from their commanding officer, their eyes poised on him at all times, like he would vanish into thin air if they took their gaze off him for even a second.

For now, all Roy could do was let out a small sigh.

He honestly didn't know which was worse; being forced to change into the brown, three piece suit and tie he was currently wearing at gun point, or that he'd been stupid enough to

assume that Maes didn't have any tricks up his since he'd make Roy and Riza's love life (of lack thereof) his business whenever he was in town.

If only Roy had been suspicious of his old friend, he wouldn't have been stuck in a crowded restaurant being watched by his own men like he was a common criminal.

He could've been finishing his paperwork right now. He could've phoned up his date for the evening and asked her if it they could postpone their date to the following night. That way, he could catch up with Maes.

But nope! He just **had** to let his guard down. And look where that had gotten him?

And until help arrived in the form of a certain blonde haired Lieutenant, the only option he had was to sit there and wait.

So he sat there; arms and legs were crossed, and a dead pan look of disinterest on his face. It sure was boring waiting around for someone else to save you, he realized.

" _Might as well chitchat with these two chuckle heads to pass the time_ ," the Colonel thought to himself. "So tell me, do I at least get to make a phone call?"

"Sorry boss, we got strict orders not to let you leave until Lieutenant Hawkeye gets here," Breda replied.

Having said his piece, the overweight man picked up a bread stick and began happily munching on it.

The Colonel let out a sigh. "Hughes put you up to this, didn't he?"

"Well you gotta admit, chief, he has a point; it's only a matter of time before you and the Lieutenant admit your feelings for each other and start dating," Jean explained. "And if you two don't do it, we'll do it for you."

"And I understand. But if Hawkeye and I decide to get to together, we'll do it on our own time," the Colonel remarked.

"Oh no! You two are getting together, tonight!" Jean yelled. "We put too much work into this for you to chicken out now! And besides, once you two are an item I don't have to worry about my dates cheating on me to have a shot at you anymore!"

Roy rolled his eyes. "Not this again. Look; it's not my fault your dates find me attractive-"

"YES IT IS! You are very charming!"

Now Roy could feel his eyebrow starting to twitch, and his teeth grinding. Yes, a lot of his dates had previously been girlfriends of Havoc's. But he was making it sound like he went out of his way to make his love life a living hell. So, he responded in kind.

"Well you could be, too if you worked on your game."

"Oh, easy for you to say!" The blonde shot back. "All you have to do is just **look** at a woman a certain way and they'll fall madly in love with you! And then you just screw their brains out and don't call them the next day!"

"Oh, right. Because you haven't had your fair share of one night stands!"

"I don't do it as often as **you** do!"

"He has a point, Colonel," Breda chimed in. "It's not our fault you have a reputation of being a giggolo."

Roy shrugged. "I prefer womanizer."

"Excuse me?" Turning their heads simultaneously the trio came to face the manager. "Are you Roy Mustang?"

"Yeah. Who wants to know?"

He could see Havoc and Breda snickering behind him, much to his irritation.

"Your secretary just phoned, she has a message for you."

"That won't be necessary." Hearing that familiar voice, the trio turned to face Riza Hawkeye. She was still wearing her military uniform, and looking as stoic as she always did.

Both Havoc and Breda groaned loudly; they'd been looking forward to seeing their superior all dolled up.

Roy meanwhile, gave her his trademark smirk. "It took you long enough."

"Sorry about that, Sir. I would've been here sooner, but I figured I should catch the weasel responsible for this," she explained.

She was holding Maes by the earlobe and pulling him closer to her Colonel. The whole time, he was cringing in pain until he was face to face with his friend.

Seeing the culprit before his eyes, Roy sat up from his seat at the table. He placed his hands in his pockets and bore his angry gaze directly into his friends' eyes.

"You don't know when to quit, do you?"

"Ah, what can I say?" Maes said with a shrug. "I knew I'd be in town and I just couldn't pass up the opportunity."

"Well you doing it is one thing, but did you have to involve my own men in this?"

"Hey, don't say it like that. They were all on board for it!"

"Yeah, Chief," Jean chimed in. "The way he explained it, he's right; you're love is just so pure."

"You two stay out of this!" The Flame Alchemist barked

"Yes, Sir!" The Lieutenants said simultaneously. The last thing they needed was for their boss to pull out his ignition glove and threaten to torch them.

"Hughes, how many times have I told you to keep your nose out of my love life!?"

"Well maybe if you and Miss Shoots-a-Lot here would just get together, already, I wouldn't have to!"

"The Lieutenant and I are not-"

Roy fell silent as a realization came upon him; this was the umpteenth time Maes had tried something like this. If he didn't listen to him then, he wasn't going to listen to him now.

So, he let out a sigh. "I don't know what else to say except I really hate you right now."

"Right…," Maes said with a grin. "I guess that means we're still going out for drinks, tonight?"

Roy's obsidian eyes turned their gaze towards Riza, as if he were expecting an answer from her. She simply gave him a silent head nod.

With a chuckle, he gave his friend a grin and said "Of course."

"Good to know."

"Colonel." Feeling a warm hand on his shoulder, Roy turned to meet his Lieutenants' amber eyes. "We should probably get going, you still have another stack of paperwork waiting for you back at the office."

"Right. See you later, Maes."

"Hey, wait a minute!" Jean cried out. "You can't leave!"

"Sure I can," he said. Turning to face them, the Colonel gave them his trademark smirk. "You said I could leave when Lieutenant Hawkeye got here."

The duo sat there with their mouths wide open; he had them there. With that little victory in his pocket, the Colonel and his Lieutenant left the restaurant with Maes in toe.

Well, that settled; Jean Havoc knew when he was beaten. So with a sigh, he placed his elbow on the dining table and rested his chin on his hand.

"Well that went well," he snarked.

"Ah, we might as well make the best of it," Breda replied. Picking up a menu, he started flipping through the little booklet, barely able to keep himself from drooling over the food options. "Wanna order something?"

It took Jean all of ten seconds before shrugging his shoulders and responding with "Yeah, why not? I got nothing else to do, tonight."

Picking up his own copy of the menu, he started flipping through it, feeling his eyes widen at the numerous options. Who knew Drachman food could be so appetizing?

…

A few minutes later, Roy found himself looking outside the window of a moving car, Riza was in the drivers' seat and driving them back towards Eastern Headquarters.

"So how did he get you this time?"

"I went out to stretch my legs for a bit. Then he came over and we got to chatting. Next thing I knew, I was being pulled into the back of a car and being taken who knows where."

"You didn't get suspicious of him showing up like that?"

"He said he was here for work, how was I suppose to know he was gonna kidnap me?" The Flame Alchemist let out a sigh; he was starting to wonder if it was to early to start drinking. "I still don't see why he has to try hooking us up every time he's in town?"

"It's because we're his friends and he wants us to be happy," she pointed out.

"Yeah, but does he have to go to such ridiculous extremes!? Seriously! Our love lives are none of his business!"

"And yet you're still going out drinking with him, after work."

He let out a sigh. "I'm too soft on him…," Roy stared at his Lieutenant out of the corner of his eye. "You sure you don't mind?"

Riza chuckled. "Why would I mind?" she asked. "I see you everyday, the Lieutenant Colonel doesn't. It's only fair."

He gave her a smile before turning his head back to the window, watching the houses passing them by. His eyes became somber, though as he thought back through the last hour or so's events.

The lengths that Hughes had gone to to make them a couple. How happy he seemed at the idea of him and Riza being together. It made the Flame Alchemist feel guilty.

Unfortunately, this did not go unnoticed by Riza like he'd hoped. Although really, what else could he expect? Her last name was't Hawkeye for nothing.

"Is something wrong?" she asked.

"Do you think we should just tell him we're a couple?"

Riza let out a gasp when she heard him say that. But even that didn't stop the Lieutenant from quietly turning her gaze back to the road.

Yes, what her Colonel had just said was true; they were, in fact, dating. Or rather, they'd been dating for the last few months in secret. No one, not even their closest friends and allies knew.

It wasn't without good reasoning.

"You know it might not be a good idea," she reminded him. "It might ruin your reputation if word got out you were dating your secretary."

He snorted. "Reputation, huh?…I never exactly had one to start."

"No, but it might make things worse for you."

"I guess…"

Riza stared at her boyfriend sadly out of the corner of her eye. Not telling anyone that they were an item was a decision they'd made together, but she knew how much it bothered Roy that he couldn't talk to Maes about it.

Yes, it annoyed him that the quirky man wouldn't stop badgering him about settling down. But at the same time, it would make Roy happy to sit down and chat with Maes about finding a proper girlfriend. He was, after all, the closest thing Roy had to a brother.

She could see the wheels turning in his head as he thought about it, looking utterly depressed at the idea of waiting.

And honestly, all that sad expression did was pull at her heart strings; he hated seeing him so broken, so hopeless.

So without warning him, she took his hand into hers and said "I'm sorry, Roy. It's just-"

"No, I know," he said. By the time Riza glanced at him from the corner of here eye again, she came to find that he was smiling sweetly at her. "You're just looking out for me."

The Lieutenant gave him a smile of her own. Much like him, she would love to tell her friends she was in a relationship with the man loved, but now was not the time. That could wait until he was Furher.

"We can tell him someday, when the time is right," she said.

Roy felt his smile widening as he wrapped his hand around hers; it felt good to know he had someone to watch his back the way she did.

"Right…," They sat quietly in the car, for awhile. Holding hands and watching the scenery as it passed by. That is until Roy spoke up.

"You know, if we're going to keep playing this game, then you need to start participating a bit more."

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean." Honestly, she didn't. It wasn't until she took a glance at him again that she saw the cocky, almost perverted grin on his face. "You should let them dress you

up, take you to the restaurant. Then you can turn the tables on them when you pull out the hand gun you'll probably have in your leg holster."

Riza rolled her eyes. "Don't be ridiculous! How am I suppose to look intimidating in high heels and a low-cut dress?"

"You looked pretty intimidating running around with that shotgun last week."

She let out a sigh. "You're still on that, huh?" Ever since that undercover mission, he couldn't stop talking about how hot she looked taking out Portello's ons in her evening gow.

Roy shrugged his shoulders, still grinning the whole time. "What can I say? Seeing you totting a gun around in a dress really turned me on."

"Everything I do turns you on."

He chuckled."Yeah, but you're no different; you pretty much turn into a yes machine at night."

The Lieutenant felt blush crawling up her face when she heard that, and yet she couldn't help but crack a smile. "I'm always a yes machine when it comes to you…"

Roy returned her smile, happy to know she accepted his compliment.

They knew they would be able to tell their friends, one day. But until that day came, the Colonel and his Lieutenant were more than content to keep playing along with everyone else's assumptions.

The End


End file.
